The Feel Better Podcast: Ep. 3 with Courtney Jolander
Kristen Rivenbark
I'm so excited to have you here. Courtney is my weekly savior. So on Tuesday nights I get to hang out with her and do her guided breathwork and visualization which I've been loving, by the way, I love the visual visualization piece of it before we get into the breathwork which we can talk about because it was really cool last night when you did that. I personally love breathwork I feel like it's changed my mood. I feel like it changes my relationship with other people with coworkers with family, with friends, I'm just more centered and grounded and I feel like, you know, yes it can be challenging but it's, it's easy to breathe, you know it's a lot harder to achieve. I don't know, some other things you may try to implement for health and wellness but to breathe and to use your breath work and to use that to your advantage. It's just such a, you can take it anywhere you can do it anywhere and I think that's really cool so I wanted to pick your brain as the expert and my guide, and just kind of explain to everybody. First of all, who you are, introduce yourself and also what is breathwork?
Courtney
Yeah! So, I'm Courtney, and breathwork is an umbrella term so it's a certain modality for healing and meditation so breathwork can almost, almost be looked at, looked as fits you know there's so many different forms of this like you have Zuma and you have CrossFit and you know orange theory and all that, well breathwork is an umbrella term for many different forms of breathing techniques, the one that I teach, I would say is the continuous breathing pattern, the circular breathing - so it's belly, chest, exhale and it's all through the mouth so double inhale single, exhale, so there's not really a cooler term to call it right now. I would just call it circular. And so what it does is that it heals you, mind, body and soul, and I like to say that, you know, in our day to day living. We are very smart, or very smart beings so we might rationally get over certain things. Some traumas in our life we might just tell ourselves. I'm over that person you know they weren't the one for me so it just makes sense to move on. And maybe you cried one or two times but then, you know, kept it moving, and then all of a sudden you're in a breathwork class and you're just bawling your eyes out. Just thinking about like how they left you. That's super normal and common and it's just because you can rationally understand things but sometimes your soul hasn't caught up to it sometimes that trauma and has been living within your body and your nervous system, and it sounds so weird and woowoo, but you don't really get it until you start to do the practice yourself.
Kristen Rivenbark
Yeah, it's some powerful stuff. There's definitely been some experiences where I was like wow where did that come from, like, what, what was I holding on to there, that just got released.
Courtney
Yeah, definitely. Oh absolutely and what I love about that too is that you're really taking the driver's seat in your healing, and you're able to really feel it physically because you can feel things in your body when you're starting to release you might feel it in certain areas of your body, and it totally correlates with the chakra system so I don't even really believe in chakras and until I started doing breath work, and I'm like whoa like I felt something in my right foot and my teacher at the time was like "oh it's probably because you're healing things with in your childhood in with your dad." And I'm like, what, how did you know that you just read my mind because during the practice I was thinking about him, you know, just really weird things like that have happened.
Kristen Rivenbark
That is so cool. I've heard that but like the left side is your mother. The right side is your father, something like that right when you're thinking about like childhood trauma or different areas of the body. That's so cool that it's all connected. So what does the breathing actually do physically, like in terms of like I hear like stimulating the vagus nerve and doing all these different things like what does the circular breathwork actually do.
Courtney
It's really like, you're hitting that lower belly so normally when we're breathing, we're doing a lot of shallow chest breathing which is normal, we should be doing that in our day to day, but with the circular breathing the breath work, You're really tapping into that lower belly, and so we hold a lot of emotions there it's sounds again very weird but we we hold a lot of trauma and emotions down there. And so when we're doing the breath work we're getting that that energy moving and shaken, and we're getting it out of our system. And besides that you're also increasing your circulation, and just getting a lot of juicy oxygen in your body and oxygenating all your cells, so it's really really transformative and healing from a cellular level.
Kristen Rivenbark
It's crazy. It's just something so simple but yet so complex and so powerful. So how did you come into your own breathwork practice and then become a teacher for others.
Courtney
Yeah it's really funny because I never heard of breathwork I was never scoping it out I never really meditated before I was starting to work out a lot at this time at that time, when I first fell into it I was working out and then on Sundays I was like you know I really want to go to like hot yoga and just do a deep stretch so I went to this yoga studio near my place in LA, and I just went there to do some yoga and then afterwards, the teacher was like "well stick around if you want to do some meditation just sign up at the front desk for the class." And I looked at my roommate, I'm like, do you want to stay and do meditation? And she's like sure I've never really done it before. Let's do it so I'm like cool. So I thought we would just be sitting there like this you know like *meditation pose*, ohmm, but no, It was like completely differently. The opposite so this woman from South Africa breezes through the door and she's like "hello everybody! Go lay down and get in the circle, and we're doing breath work tonight" and I'm like what but she has such a good energy and she was like a breath of fresh air. No pun intended. Yeah. And so I was like all right, we're just like, open to it, we're like what the heck is this but let's go with it, you know, and I just remember my heart opening up so much not practice but my hands were like pinned to the floor. I couldn't move my arms are my hands and I literally could see the color green. I could visualize it within myself and I wasn't even really into that I wasn't into chakras or anything like that but I truly felt my heart, open that night, like I felt my heart chakra open at night. And if you know anything about the chakra system Green is the color for your heart chakra, so I just completely opened up my eyes to what, what you could do for yourself. I just remember feeling elated and so happy, and it rode with me the entire week, I'm like I have to go back to this class. So going back to that class every Tuesday night. I'm sorry every Sunday night at 8pm is very similar to my class now. It was Sunday nights and I ended up doing that for consistently for two years. I mean it just was completely mind blowing, and I every time I went in, I was healing something different. And I was hitting it layer by layer, and it gives me the chills thinking about it and it was just so beautiful.
Kristen Rivenbark
And you have the benefit of the hindsight now to be able to look at it and see that progression.
Courtney
Oh girl, I'm telling you because like breathwork is a healing modality like breath work, it doesn't have to be breath work, but if you find something that just really hits different. That really hits your soul different, I mean, you will grow in ways that you never know. He knew you could lifetime, you become that person, like it, like in mind, body and soul that you've always wanted to be, you know, like that's the best way to describe it, it's like I never knew I could feel this good I never knew I could feel this calm and peaceful within my body. That's what it gave me. And that's why, after a while of doing it had been like seven years of just doing breathwork on my own, it that I remember one year I was just like I got to teach it and I have to share this, you know, I'm so passionate about this. I know how beneficial it is. And I just want to be another person teaching it and spreading it along you know like wildfire. And so that's what ended up happening I ended up teaching, which was also a funny story because I didn't, it wasn't really planned I was just like hopping around Asia staying at hostels and I was I was just like hostel hopping and I was in pies and very hippie community they're very open and they're very, just like very open minded to different healing modalities and, and the people working at that hostels overheard me just talking about meditation and they're like, so do you want to teach the morning meditation class, who grew tired of teaching it and we feel like you would really love it. I was like, I ended up staying there for free for a week and just teaching and then I ended up doing that all along the way throughout the other countries I went to just teaching other travelers in different countries.
Kristen Rivenbark
Yeah, so they go back home or wherever their new home is or their former home and they have that that they can take with them, and you basically planting these little seeds all across the globe like that.
Courtney
Yeah, that's a good way tolook at it, they really think about it like that but that was such a great. It was so amazing because I'm such an adventure I'm such a traveler at heart. I was really teaching my soul tribe, even though we came from different countries. Our breath connected us I know that sounds so cheesy, but I was really able to speak with them and like get them to a different level and let them just release a lot so that they can really enjoy their travels, I would tell them I'm like, you can be in paradise and feel like shit. And everyone's like yes because like we're all in this beautiful place. And I knew that some people because I would overhear people during, you know breakfast or lunch and everybody's in the dining area. And I would overhear people venting a lot and you know just talking about the problems and that's normal. I'm not saying that's not, but, I just remember thinking and feeling just observing them like, I know they could feel so much better and I know they spent so much time. And so then they work their butts off to get here, you know, I know they just like saved up their money, they're here and now they're still taking that misery with them. And so, it was so beautiful. The first class I taught it was 8 people. And then, people told other people than the next class the next day was 16 people. And then the next class the next day was like 25 people and like other people from other other hostels came because they heard about it, and that's because like people were feeling good throughout their day they would come see me at dinner, and they would just be like, I had the best day ever, and I'm just like, oh my god, that's amazing and I have the chills now, because like I never helped people like the way I did when I was starting to teach, and that was just so fulfilling and it just felt so good to know that I had helped somebody on such a soul level like that. And I think they're still teaching brother at that hospital now.
Kristen Rivenbark
It's that ripple of that, that's just so beautiful! Oh my gosh I have so many questions for you. I want to talk about your adventurous spirit and kind of being unafraid to to travel and to try new things and to be new places and maybe to get uncomfortable and, and just kind of experience different, you know, cultures and countries, but want to kind of go back to that day when you were in the yoga studio and the meditation classes available, because it sounds like the universe puts you where you need to be at the right time, and because you didn't know about it, you probably didn't have any resistance because you didn't know what to expect no one had talked to you about it. You weren't like oh no Breathworks not for me, I've heard about it, you didn't know what to expect so you are open. What was your life like at that point in time like Where were you mentally, because I feel like it was the right time for you, Whether you realize it or not, so I'm always curious to know like what were you looking for even though you maybe didn't know you were looking for it at the time.
Courtney
Yeah, that's such a beautiful question. Well I already was kind of, I've always been on a track of growth, I've always wanted to understand how I am. I've always been on a track of self discovery. But at that time I wasn't so much feeling, I'm feeling kind of closed off, vulnerable, I wasn't vulnerable, I'll just put it that way like I didn't really like to show myself emotionally too much. I was definitely in a track of, like I said fitness I'm like I wanted to work on my body and like get things in shape. And I also just want to feel good in my body. So starting to feel good physically you know just with working out and everything, and then when I stumbled upon it and I did it, I emotionally felt really good. I didn't even think I was like, that far behind emotionally I thought like, I've always been kind of outspoken rude and all that but I, I guess I didn't realize that I wasn't honoring my feelings, so that it really taught me that feelings are normal. We need to just process them, it's called emotions you know energy in motion we got to let it go, because when I was growing up I was raised in a family where, when my parents would get embarrassed if I cried, you know he would tell me, "Stop, stop crying. You're embarrassing me" so I just, you know also "You're too sensitive I get told that a lotgrowing up like "you're way too sensitive, you're just sensitive," like, but really now that I'm an adult, these adults that were in my life as a kid, they were actually just very rude and toxic and mean and just saying really inappropriate things, so I just didn't know how to, as a kid, you don't really know how to respond to that. So, for me, it allowed me to release my emotions and let go of grudges and all that that I was holding on to I think
Kristen Rivenbark
I can relate to what you said as a child and I think it's almost because they are uncomfortable like with emotion in general so you're making me feel uncomfortable stop doing that like, you know, You're too sensitive or you're embarrassing me because I'm uncomfortable with emotion, because I haven't figured out how to process my own. I think there's an element of that too and you kind of like busted through that step further. So how did you find yourself traveling and hopping around Asia and in different countries like how did that come about where did you had you graduated school like what was the moment where you were like, I'm just going to pack a bag and just go.
Courtney
It's funny, it's very full circle because I was meditating a lot at the time at the den, the den had just opened on the street from my house and this is where I teach now. But I was, I was there all the time I was there every day to meditate for like an hour, two hours you know and and meditating that much allowed me to really dim a lot of fears and worries within myself I had always wanted to travel. I had always wanted to grab a camera and just film everything you know and and explore and get out of America. And so, meditating that much allowed me to just like really didn't those fears. Let me be way more productive in my day, and the doors like the universe did open up for me in such a way like I remember I was just sitting on my couch. And then Southwest have like (they do this a lot) like the low fare deals and stuff, but at that time, I had just gotten laid off from a job that wasn't for me. I was a social media manager at the time for TV shows and I, it was just not a good fit for me. So I got laid off, which was the right move, and I had all this time so I was meditating and then I was like, you know, this is the time I need to like go after my dreams. So, my first international trip was Costa Rica. And I remember hopping before I hopped on the plane. I was very, like, all this like fear, overcame me, and I was like, before I walked into the plane I'm just like, "What am I doing, I don't know" and I was alone, you know like I was traveling. And I was like, I don't know anybody in Costa Rica, like what if I get killed you go like, who am I to do this and, and all of a sudden, like that fear is just smacked on the ground and like this inner wisdom that came up for my meditations was like, No, like you have been wanting to do this for years like this is your time, and I just got so excited again like the excitement outweighed the fear so the fear was still kind of like swimming there a little bit but the, the wisdom that came in through my meditations through that like mental practice you go through with meditation, just slammed it out of the way and I was like, you're gonna have an amazing time we got you like Go live your life. And so that was really like a moment of fear outweighing, I mean, I'm sorry, excitement, outweighing the fear and just going for it and I had the best time ever I remember feeling so safe there. And, I mean, traveling has been so serendipitous I've met amazing people and then also funniest of ways and I did. So first was Costa Rica and I did Mexico for a couple of months I like flew into one coast flew out the other so I just like travel along that entire way. And that was my favorite. Right before COVID hit I actually went to Asia so I went to Thailand and then I went to Laos, Myanmar, and the Philippines.
Kristen Rivenbark
Beautiful. That's incredible. So are you on this spiritual journey full time where you are no longer kind of trying to fill in the gaps with like a nine to five because I completely feel you with like feeling out of alignment but not making the change and then the universe kind of smack that right back down to use your words and it's like, it's almost like, I don't know if you follow Lacey Phillips, but she talks about the magic dark and being tested, and I have a similar experience I was five months pregnant, and I got laid off from the company I was working for. And I should have left on my own two years prior, and didn't. And what came out of that and only the birth of my actual son but the birth of my health coaching business like suddenly I always wanted to do. I was feeling very out of alignment with my job but afraid to leave, and the universe was like okay well if you're not going to do it we're going to do it for you. And then you use that opportunity you know if you're kind of in tune with that and it sounds like that's what you did. So did you stay that course, or do you find yourself kind of like, like did you decide like that's it, I'm not doing corporate again.
Courtney
Yeah, at the time I came back from traveling I was like I need to do this. And the thing was I actually hit a really dark period after that because like I got a taste of what I want my life to be like 2011, and then to get back into LA into the grind, I was just like, very stubborn about like not getting back into corporate that I was like I'm just gonna do Lyft, so I did this for a year and a half way too long, full time so honestly that was a nine to five, you know, it's, I mean, the first few months I was like this is fun, you know, like I'm meeting all these people. Yeah, but after a while, it's like I'm on the road all the time and LA, LA traffic, barely making any money. I'm coming across, I was coming across a lot of like a lot of people that were, you know, it's just different people. Some are cool somewhere that's just how it is. And it's just energy draining because you never know who's coming in your car. And so, and then I just I would have entitled people sometimes like one guy refused to get out of my car. You know, like, I cannot do this. It's funny, because I remember, I got into my car one morning, and I told myself, this is the last day I'm driving live like this is the last day I'm driving for Lyft, this is the last day I just feel it. And so, like I was in Burbank driving, and I pulled over to park and drop off some passengers and this other Uber driver came and hit my car, but he didn't nobody got hurt or anything like that he just scratched the side, and just kind of messed up my front door, and I like smiled. Oh my god I just remember thinking like, yes, like I knew, like I was pushed out of this job too I'm just very stubborn like that you know like I never really leave it's like I gotta be forced out sometimes. And so, the guy was so like remorseful, he says, I'm so sorry and I'm just like, No, this is actually a good thing like Lyft and Uber have good insurance will be fine like. So my car was like just, it was just damaged to an extent where, like, it was just best to get the car destroyed and recoup that money and then get a new car, but in that means, in the meantime I didn't have a car so like I can't drive Uber, Lyft, so I just went through. I'm just maybe like super transparent with everybody I went through a period of time where I was at my lowest financially, and when you're in that survival mode it's hard to be creative because you're just thinking of money, you're just thinking I need to get food on the table, and I need to get my bills paid, so I was in that state for way too long, and then I ended up getting back into a, I was working for a startup, and it was great, I mean I, it was very time consuming, I was on call 24/7 but I have to tell you I learned so much about me, myself, and also how I work, and, and everything. So I ended hopping back into the, into it wasn't corporate so much more startup life. Long story short, I'm in and out of doing that, so I'll have periods of time where I'm able to travel, I'm able to just do my thing and I'll save my money and stuff like that and then there's other times where I need to get back into the workforce and get my, you know, build up that foundation again so right now I'm actually about to have an interview after this with a company so it would be a remote position because right now I would rather make a little bit more money for myself and fund these projects I'm working on such as I podcasts, such as YouTube channel, and, and getting content out there that's like health conscious and everything like that so I'm not able to truly like support myself financially off of these off of my passions right now, but it's definitely on the track there and I'm I'm so much more open to being okay with that before I wasn't I was like no I'm gonna make this work no matter but I don't need nobody, and it was just for me, it was the recipe for disaster. But I learned that about myself and that's okay to go through that to learn how you work because just because that did that for me doesn't mean that isn't going to be the same for somebody else. Sometimes, people really excel in an environment where they're like I got a fire to make my booty I gotta figure it out. Now, you know, for me it was just like ah!
Kristen Rivenbark
it was, it's probably it was more paralyzing to have the stress of not having a little bit of that security where you found the balance between being able to support your dreams and still live out your dream. So I think, nice to be able to be open to also changing your mind, you know, you don't have to be so kind of committed to the intention that you set a year or two years ago where I'm never going to work for anybody else. So I think it's really important it's a sign of emotional maturity to be able to say like, actually, I think I can find a happy medium. For now, it doesn't have to be forever, but for now you kind of, I'm sure have a sense of relief that you don't have to worry so much about you know where the food or the bills you know how that's gonna get paid and you can still focus on like the things that you are passionate about so I think that's important.
Courtney
Yeah, I think, I think adaptability and flexibility, especially if you're a stubborn person like me. when you need to actively work on that. I'm a Leo.
Kristen Rivenbark
Okay, I was like, are you a Taurus like me?
Courtney
I love Tauruses. We get along so well.
Kristen Rivenbark
So how can you incorporate spirituality into your daily life I like talking about like daily habits and daily routine and not so much like hashtag morning routine which is great. I have one, but like, on the day to day the things that really make up your habits, how do you tie spirituality into that when you're in LA traffic or working, you know, for someone else or, you know, running to the guy like how does that fit into your life on the day to day.
Courtney
Yeah, I think it just intertwines in every, every step I take it's just part of who I am, I'm very, I've always been very spiritual. So this could look like so many things you know. I definitely think writing for me is really important so if I'm able to jot down what I'm grateful about that really is such a, it's like magic for me I don't know what happens but I'll like write in a gratitude journal and my, my whole day will change you know and and I'll just have a better medtech like perception on things and everything like that. And I'm attracting so much better and I'm attracting what I want versus what I don't want because I think when you become very in tune with who you are and source. You can manifest so quickly and this could be a good thing or a bad thing for me things can manifest pretty quickly. And I'm not trying to say that to be cocky at all. I'm just saying that like things can manifest pretty quickly for anybody. It just is a matter of you believing in it. That's really the key. And not like, but I can manifest in both ways. A lot of the time, sometimes I manifest things I really don't want, it's like, dang it. I've been thinking about it too much. Yeah so I think spirituality in my day to day in tangible ways come like definitely writing in a gratitude journal for sure. Got to do that. And if I don't meditate in a day, I feel it the next day, so I really got to meditate and that could just be a body scan for five minutes. For me, I'm very talkative I love connecting with people so I am working more out of here usually in the day to day so when I do a body scan, I'm able to get back into my body, and I feel grounded and I can take note of what's happening in my body, sometimes I can be super like dismissive of it because I'm just thinking of like creative ideas and talking to people so it's good for me to bring balance into my life that way and you know this also means eating really good food. So, I love green smoothies and like a number one fan of green smoothies and just eating your veggies and your fruits and I'm mainly mainly a plant based diet that also helped me open up my third eye, not to sound weird but it really did like I remember when I started to eat good, and really honor my digestive system and get things flowing and all that, but to really feel my body with vitamins and minerals that changed the game. I mean, that's when I was able to feel emotionally balanced as well.
Kristen Rivenbark
I love, I love that, I want to know what you put in your green smoothie.
Courtney
Usually, well right now I'm doing like the baby kale from Trader Joe's, celery and if I feel like it'll put a scoop of like plant based protein in there and then a frozen banana is so key because you got to get that creamy and like big texture and that's usually what I put in right now.
Kristen Rivenbark
That sounds delicious. I'm all about the frozen banana I need that ice cream. I want to eat my smoothie with a spoon like that. Yeah. Like it's so interesting that you said that because I don't think people realize the connection between the food and using food as medicine instead of your poison and how it can impact your mood you know I talk about like good mood foods, because I think it's like a good thing to say but it's so, so true. Like if I have, you know, a day where like last week, we ended up ordering pizza like real pizza from a pizza shop, we do that probably twice a year because it makes me feel horrible. But we were just craving it might have had a little bit of Rose the day before. So I woke up in the morning and I had a bagel with cream cheese at the coffee shop I had leftover spaghetti for lunch, and then I have pizza for dinner, and for about three days, I felt like, almost like, sad, like my and I knew immediately it's because of what I've been eating, or rather what I've not been eating I haven't been incorporating vitamins, nutrients greens, whole grains, you know, fruits, vegetables, I was missing all of that and my brain was not functioning the way it normally does like my mood was seriously impacted by those food choices and then I noticed, you know, on the other end of the spectrum as soon as I started to incorporate my, my go twos. It completely changes everything. So I love that you said that what do you, what did you notice in terms of your third eye like what does it feel like to feel like you've opened up that portal, because I'm like on this quest but I don't know, like, when do I know if I'm there.
Courtney
You might already be there, I mean it just for me, I remember feeling like a fog had lifted that's exactly, that's the best way for me to describe it, I just remember like, Oh, like this is how you're supposed to feel you're supposed to feel energized after you eat. You're not supposed to feel tired. I remember that hitting me for the first time and I was like 23 You know, it took me 23 years!
Kristen Rivenbark
That's good though! Most people at 23 are not eating well.
Courtney
And I remember feeling less reactive so I think I was a little bit more reactive before when I was eating bad I didn't realize it but I was just like so. I was always sensitive I still am, I think we're all human, we are sensitive, I don't think anybody's not. But I was just like, I was definitely triggered easily, and I'm just more reactive, you know, and, and I felt this way more calm and peaceful and emotionally balanced. So, yeah, just like my intuition was on fire like I would just feel things a lot more quickly and, and just know things. Even if people didn't tell me something verbally, I would just kind of understand it I didn't have to get a verbal valid, I didn't have to get their verbal validation for it was just weird it was just like whoa I didn't know life could be like this but I'm here for it!
Kristen Rivenbark
Yeah and that whole just like you were saying in the beginning the balance of body, mind and spirit. You know the mind and the spirit that was probably, you know, in a good place and then you brought the body and connected the three and you have this like harmonious kind of, you know, workings, and it's just up level that your entire like perspective, I love that, that's so cool.
Courtney
So like, like I know people were like, oh mind body soul, so cliche, but it's so true. I mean, you have a physical body, then you have your soul energy body, and you have your mind and all to be nurtured and you need to really take care of them, because we're sensitive every part of us is sensitive, and that's a good thing, because it's showing us what we need to refine it's showing us what we need to just bring more compassion and love to and take notice of.
Kristen Rivenbark
Yeah, I love that and I think it's cliche because it's said so often because there's a lot of truth to it, You know, whether someone is open to exploring that as a different story but there's just so much value to understanding and appreciating that and trying to balance out those different areas of life. Yeah, I, I'm with you. So for someone who maybe is new to breathwork or maybe meditate a little bit but they're, you know, not sure what to expect, what would be your recommendations, how to get started, you know what to expect, how often to try to practice.
Courtney
Yeah, all great questions I would say if you're just starting, if you've never done breathwork I think it'd be great for you to do it in a group setting virtually or in person, depending on your comfort level, sometimes it's nice to do at your house and, but you're still in like in a group meditation class, and it kind of gives you your space and everything like that but if you can it is so powerful to do it in person too. So if you can find a breathwork circle or class near, and you can physically attend that I would definitely recommend that. And you can really feel the energy for yourself because when you're with other people, that energy that healing energies just amplified it's like we're tuning forks It's so crazy. And again, we can talk about this but you won't get it until you physically do it yourself. And I would recommend definitely doing at least once a week, because it really is you really do like it. So, my recommendation is show up, take the class and just drop any expectations just like come in with an open mind and an open heart and just see if it's your thing or not. And if it's not as totally okay because there's a million different things out there, you know you can find your way to source your way to it your inner wisdom in so many different ways and that's the beautiful thing about life, and you shouldn't mean like yes I do brother but I also do tons of other things, you know, and it just depends on what you're feeling, but if you do like it, and it is hitting your soul different, then I would recommend at least doing it once a week would be on a Sunday or that week that day for yourself that you're able to just really focus on yourself, and it's like your self care day or something that's what I, what I would do back then I would use my Sunday as my self care day, and I would do that at night and it would just be amazing it would set me up for my week, and I would feel so collected in myself.
Kristen Rivenbark
Yeah, I love that almost making like a little ritual out of it. I'll do a little drop of CBD, light a candle, and have some tea after it's like, you know. Okay so we have to talk about "tetani" right that's what it's called the lobster claws? Yeah, yeah, freaks me out because before you start to explain it like this has happened to me even before breathwork and it must be something to do with breathing in certain situations, but like, I get it so intensely that like, my fingers are like this and I can't clot and even if I want to move them it's almost like they're paralyzed like I have to like go like this for a few minutes, not you know, not forever. Obviously, it's intense and then you were saying oh that's normal and I was like, oh there's a name for this this is what it is but if someone doesn't know that they may be a little freaked out like what is going on with my body so
Courtney
Yeah so tetani we call it like lobster claws are pterodactyl arms. Yeah! My bodyit is freaky It is weird, but it just means that your co2 levels are very low because when you're breathing, you're inhaling and exhaling you're kind of you're manipulating the breath you're manipulating the co2 and oxygen levels in your body. So, this typically happens when you're breathing too fast. If you're forcing that exhale too much, because when you're doing a circular breathing, you want to really focus more on the inhale, so I'll demonstrate like you breathe into your belly, chest. And then when you exhale you just naturally let your whole body decompress. So then you do it again, belly and chest. Exhale, but sometimes people might go *labored breathing* And so when you're doing that you're forcing that exhale and you're breathing too quickly and that's when you just get off level very quickly, and so that could be the, the issue. And so, also, when you're starting to get those involuntary muscle spasms, which is tetany and you're unable to open up your hands and everything like that it could also be an underlying issue with your mineral balance. So sometimes it might mean that you don't have enough minerals in your body like potassium, calcium and etc etc. So that could be, it could be that. So that is like the biological thing. And then I also know like some teachers teach the spiritual meaning. So I like to just bring up the two for anybody that takes my class just for what resonates for them. The spiritual meaning could be that your heart chakra is opening up so much that all this energy from your heart is flooding to your arms and down to your hands and for me the first time I did breathwork, I felt that was the case for my personal practice the first time I was like, I just really felt that hard heart open up so much in my hands was like, they weren't really in so much like that they were just like, I couldn't move them off the ground. But those are the main reasons of why you might get this. So, in order to not get it or maybe decrease that level of cramping, is probably just to slow down the breathing, and then to focus more on your inhale, and to maybe even take a break, you don't even have tokeep doing the breath work if you're feeling it and it's scaring you, you can just breathe naturally you never want to feel scared you know you want to feel like yes you're being challenged a little bit, but I never want people to feel so discomfort like all that discomfort and needing to push through it, like I don't think that's necessary.
Kristen Rivenbark
That's interesting, I think. I think what you said about the forcing out the out the exhale. In the beginning, when I kind of started taking your classes, I think I was probably doing that and as I've gone through and continue to do them, that has actually lessened, and it's probably because I've gotten a little bit better at slowing down the breath and getting into that rhythm where in the beginning I was like kind of learning and figuring it out. So that, to me, like in terms of kind of what was going on there, and that like doesn't bother me but I'm like this weird. Yeah. Weird nation and it's it happens it's normal, it's nothing to be like, you know, alarmed by, it'll go back to normal very quickly. it's so cool and it's just another example of how the breath the mind body are all connected.
Kristen Rivenbark
Yeah and you have physical sensations and my husband, he, he always says "I feel like we just did like whatever heroin would feel like."
Courtney
I know it can be trippy I mean, I've, I've had past life regression and I did not even, I never even really knew about past life regressions, and it just came about in a breathwork class one night and it wasn't even the intention, you know what I mean. General breathwork class and. And I, yeah, I had a past life regression full blown and I was like,
Kristen Rivenbark
What are you, who are you??
Courtney
I was oh so in my life and my past life, I was a Native American woman, and I was running through the forest with my... I found it so cheesy. I was running through the forest with my lover like my, I don't know if we were married or whatever but he was like the, you know, like my soul mate and we're just like running through the forest like frolicking pretty much just like making out like having a good time, and we're just so in love with each other, like that was the feeling it was just like, oh my god it was like puppy love, you know, they get enough of each other. And then he got, and then all of a sudden it's like the next scene he's like shot and killed with an arrow, or he was shot from a gun I couldn't tell but he just, he died immediately. And then, then, it was almost like scene by scene like you're watching a movie, and the next scene was just me, I had a blanket over my body over my head, and a bunch of other Native American women around me just trying to console me, and I was just looking straight ahead, like stone cold straight ahead and I just remember feeling and thinking, I will never love again like it's because it feels like my heart has just been taken away, and I never want to live my life like this, I just don't want to, like, it was like I was afraid to ever fall in love again. So, me in this lifetime I was consoling her like it's okay to open up your heart again it's okay to love like you're going to be safe, like she just felt so she felt so dead inside after her love was killed you know so that I think like for me I think that that whole scenario that whole past life regression came up because at the time, like I said before, I was not being very vulnerable with like the guys I was dating like I would have like a distance in a way, you know like I, it was hard for me to emotionally connect on a deep level I just didn't want to be seen like that I didn't want to feel vulnerable. And so that session really allowed my soul to open up to being okay to be vulnerable and share myself and it's okay if I looked dumb or, or whatever, you know like that I'm lovable, essentially. So that was that that was that past life.
Kristen Rivenbark
And so you're able to take that now in this life and heal that in a way.
Courtney
Yeah, and from that night. Because when you do breath work for me every time I did work, I would always kind of learn something, and it would stick with me, like it would be something that wasn't just like oh yeah I learned this about myself, it would be something that hit me and changed my soul on some type of level in a good way, you know, it allowed me to progress spiritually in ways I didn't even know I needed to progress, and I think that's how it is for you and anybody that takes or does breathwork or any modality that really hits them, you know like, we keep saying like hits your soul different, you are able to really shift and it just hits a different part of your psyche a part of your, the way you navigate your life. So, it was one of those pinnacle classes that really allowed me to navigate my love life different in a much better way
Kristen Rivenbark
That is incredible. That you get this ping and this vision and this, you know, kind of memory in a way and you're able to use that to change your life now, in a beneficial and positive way and it sticks with you, like you said, it's not just like a really cool session that you had. It's something that changed the way that you approach your life today. That is insane like that should be like the excellent version of breathwork to everyone you know like that, that power in just manipulating your breath and being open to that, it's just so crazy. It's so crazy to say, this is what you're doing and this is what can come out of it, like it just blows my mind. And I think it's so cool that you're able to do this and to share this and you know I've learned about it through you and it's just that ripple effect is so powerful, like, I like talking about all those, like, talk about, like I'm so interested in the past life regressions and also like tapping into that vulnerability and and being able to be comfortable in that I think so many of us struggle with being seen, because we're afraid of rejection or whatever it happens to be. This was incredible. Like I feel like overwhelmed and the best way I know I'm so great talking to you and I are tools to you but I have the chills to kind of going back through that, that memory to I'm sure. Yeah, beautiful. Yeah. Where can everyone find you? I know you've got a podcast, you've got The Den on Tuesdays, which I highly personally recommend in fact if that's the only thing that you do with your Den membership do it. You've also got your Instagram, where should everyone find you.
Courtney
Yes, and my Instagram is @cocoyouloco and then you can also listen to my podcast, it's called Drop the Gems Podcast and I interview, different people every, it should be every week but I've been kind of like doing it every other week or like maybe once a month but, you know, the whole premise of that is to interview, really fascinating people about them dropping their gems of wisdom on how to live a good life, mind, body and soul. And yeah, or you can just email me courtneyjolander@gmail.com, and I hope to see any and all of you at the Breathwork class that'd be amazing it's every Tuesday night at 8pm virtually, and yeah that's how you can get in touch.
Kristen Rivenbark
I'll put links to everything in the show notes on the website as well. And then, if anyone has any questions you can always email me as well but I will hopefully see all our listeners on Tuesday nights. Whenever greater we have like this whole new group but truly life changing like I cannot. There's nothing that I've stuck with that has actually impacted my life in such a powerful way. Like it's just, and that's why I was so excited to be able to chat with you and to kind of pick your brain a little bit more because like you I want everyone else to know about this, I want them to be able to benefit from it and to have that experience and to know that you can feel this way you can feel different and you can feel better, right, that's all you want is to just feel better.
Courtney
Exactly, you can feel better. No matter how you're feeling right now, there's, there's a different level, you could hit, and you're gonna be able to find that relief for yourself, like I never want people to think like that, they're always gonna feel a certain way, like they might feel stuck for a long time, but just know that that can be, you know, shaken up a little bit in the best way, and you can hit these levels within yourself that you never thought was possible, it's possible and it's so beautiful.
Kristen Rivenbark
I love. Thank you so much. I love this I appreciate this so much and hopefully everyone comes in finds you and we see them on Tuesdays, or at least try some breath work on their own. Thank you, I appreciate this this was wonderful.
Courtney
Thank you. That would be so cool to see Kristen's whole posse! Your whole group comes, that would be so cool.
Kristen Rivenbark
Yeah we have regulars too on Tuesdays, so we can just add some people which is nice. I like that little sense of community when I recognize some of the names even though we're virtual, it's nice!
Courtney
It is, definitely.
Kristen Rivenbark
Thanks for listening and I hope you enjoyed the show! Be sure to rate and review and also follow along on Instagram @holistic.w.kristen and I'll see you soon!
